My amnio

Today I am going to talk about my amnio experience. Since I have waited until this advanced age to produce offspring I was automatically given the option of an amnio. They do that for all of us geezers. Of course I did it because I want to KNOW! (Just so you know – I don’t feel old but a woman giving birth for the first time at or over the age of 35 is an 'elderly prima gravida' and any pregnant woman 35 or older is a 'senile gravida.' – How are those for pleasant scientfic labels?)

Everyone says that the worst part is waiting for the test results. Not for me (so far anyway.) For me, the worst part was was waiting for the actual test. By the time I finally got my appointment I was completely freaked out about the idea of a long needle being stabbed into my uterus and sucking out some juice. It was the whole long needle thing that was freaking me out.

So, we go into the exam room, and they start the ultrasound. The baby was just laying there sucking its thumb, not doing anything. The doctor finds a nice empty place to stab me. Then, I asked – “You only have to stab me once, right?” The doctor replied, “Oh, yea –ohhh, well, I would say 90% of the time it only takes once. But sometimes, not very often, the baby moves and we have to do it again.” Well, apparently those sound waves activated my baby and it started twisting and turning and moving all over. The doctor goes ahead and inserts the needle in the original spot he picked out. Now, honestly, that part did not hurt. When he got to the uterus I felt the pressure and it was like he was pushing through a rubber band in me. But it was totally creepy! I was sweating bullets and the nice ultrasound lady got a cold cloth for my head. My DP let me hold his hand - I probably halfway broke his fingers!! The baby was still doing gymnastics so after moving the needle around inside me they finally have to take it out and find a new spot. I jinxed myself and got stabbed twice!! Completely psychologically unnerving (but as I said, not physically painful.) Finally, he started sucking the juice out. That felt weird, too – I could feel the suction.

I was part of a study so they had to take an extra tube of juice. I figured the needle was already in there and it wasn’t going to hurt me. The study is being done to figure out if there is a way they can get the results back to you in 2 or 3 DAYS as opposed to the 2 or 3 WEEKS it takes now. More power to them! I mean, you have to wait so late in the pregnancy to get the amnio –then adding another couple weeks onto that. I’m sure that makes the decision to terminate just that much harder, if necessary.

Before I left I had to get an extra shot. Since I have RH negative blood I had to get a shot of WinRho. The nurse had this GIGANTIC needle in her hand. I looked at it for a bit, then said, “That sure is a big needle. Your’e not going to use that, are you?” She started laughing and said, no, that would be mean. She was just mixing up the stuff with that one. Whewwww!!! I didn’t even feel it when I got the shot. But, I am sure, that after the long, alien-probe needle in my uterus my boby didn’t even register such a small one at that time.

Now the waiting begins….I have to wait for the test results, which will also tell me the gender. I was really hoping to find that out right away, but it was still too tiny to tell.
One good thing is I didn’t have to do anything the rest of the day. The lady told me (this is a quote, the double negative is hers, not mine), “Now don’t do absolutely nothing the rest of the day.” So I got to lay in bed the rest of the day reading my Patricia Cornwell novel and a couple magazines and drink a lot of water and juice. Basically, I was bored – but it was a cloudy, windy day threatening rain so I didn’t mind missing my walk too much.