(This is the kind of crap I lay there thinking about when I am not thinking about how uncomfortable I am.)
Last night while lying in bed awake, as usual, I was remembering a bonfire party we went to at Bragg a few years ago. Bonfire parties are fun and everyone does them there – it’s a good way to get rid of junk, and keep 60 drunk people out of your living room when it is too cold to really be comfortable outside without a 40 ft. fire keeping you warm.
I decided that Jack needed a redneck name at some point during the night. (This was after several Jack & Diet Cokes, mind you.)
“Hey, I know! You can be Skeeter.”
“No, I don’t want to be Skeeter.”
“C’mon! Be Skeeter. It’s a good name. Who wouldn’t want to be Skeeter?”
“No. Don’t call me Skeeter.”
“Well…let’s burn one of your shoes then!”
“No.”
“Yes! Those are ugly shoes and if you burn one then we can throw the other one in the road on the way home and be the cause of one of the “mystery shoes in the road!” and I’ll buy you a new pair tomorrow.”
(Down South, there is always a lone shoe in the middle of the road somewhere. It is a phenomenon that always perplexed us. I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist being the cause of one of the mystery shoes in the road. Plus, they really were fugly shoes. I hated them.)
“OK. I’ll burn a shoe if you black out one of your teeth.”
(I guess he thought that if I had to black out one of my teeth I wouldn’t want him to burn a shoe anymore. Who wouldn’t want to watch some guy burn a shoe, though? So, I ran into the house…)
“Hey – do you have any black eyeliner? I have to black out one of my teeth so Skeeter can burn one of his shoes!”
“Yes – here. Go ahead.” (No questions asked.) (So I black out a tooth and run back outside.)
“OK!!! Now we get to burn a shoe!! Woooooooo!!!!!!”
At this point he took off a shoe and threw it into the fire and we all cheered while it burned. And it was kind of chilly out so he had to stand there with that foot on top of his other shoe the rest of the night so his foot wouldn’t freeze.
On the way home we threw the leftover shoe out onto Riley Road, in front of the Asian Express/Jumpers shopping area. That was pretty funny to us. Hahahahaaa! We just threw a shoe out onto the road!!!!
No wonder people lose it at Bragg.
(The next time I went over to where the party had been, they gave me the sole of the burned shoe. This shoe had been thrown into a burning inferno of a fire and yet the sole did not melt! I’m surprised the one we threw out didn’t find its way home!)
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Waiting….
I’m a little bored at the moment. This waiting is getting tedious, plus I really can’t sleep now because she likes to do kickboxing in there all night long.
The only exciting thing to happen is we got a free large pizza on Friday night. Yay! The pizza place we always go to has updated their menu, but the branch where we go is still working off the old menu, even though they only have new menus available. So, we ordered a large combo + onions, got it and went home. Well, we opened it up and it was the old combo #1 – which means it had green olives all over it. That is fine with me – I always cut up olives and put them on my pizza anyway. But, as you know one of the unwritten laws of the universe is that olive people will always marry non-olive people. That is great when we are drinking martinis, not so great when ordering a pizza. So, being the pregnant nutcase that I am I called the place and sounded like I was on the verge of a breakdown. “Why are you working off two menus? You are making me crazy!!” They brought us the right pizza for free – so we each got a whole large pizza to ourselves. Actually, half of each one is in the freezer now ready for our next pizza night.
Aren't we exciting? : )
The only exciting thing to happen is we got a free large pizza on Friday night. Yay! The pizza place we always go to has updated their menu, but the branch where we go is still working off the old menu, even though they only have new menus available. So, we ordered a large combo + onions, got it and went home. Well, we opened it up and it was the old combo #1 – which means it had green olives all over it. That is fine with me – I always cut up olives and put them on my pizza anyway. But, as you know one of the unwritten laws of the universe is that olive people will always marry non-olive people. That is great when we are drinking martinis, not so great when ordering a pizza. So, being the pregnant nutcase that I am I called the place and sounded like I was on the verge of a breakdown. “Why are you working off two menus? You are making me crazy!!” They brought us the right pizza for free – so we each got a whole large pizza to ourselves. Actually, half of each one is in the freezer now ready for our next pizza night.
Aren't we exciting? : )
Friday, January 27, 2006
Friday Quote
"When you have a lot of things to do, it's best to get your nap out of the way first."
Sage advice that I received by email today from a SAHD (that would be stay at home dad.) I basically wasted my time today running around from store to store looking for some stuff that I know I could buy at a Wholefoods or a Trader Joe’s. The nearest Wholefoods is in Oakville or Toronto – only a 5-hour drive away. This is the CAPITAL of Canada- why can’t they have modern stores????? There are a couple more stores I can try down in the Glebe, but if they don’t have what I am looking for then I’m just giving up.
As you all probably know Canada voted in a new party in their election on Monday. The Conservatives won a minority government. I think that is good because they needed to teach the Liberals a lesson, and a majority Conservative govt. might be too right wing. They showed a clip of Harper dropping his kids off at school here in Ottawa. He shook their hands goodbye! Geez, they are little kids. If they were mine I would have hugged them goodbye, or at least just kissed them on the tops of their heads. But shake their hands goodbye? I don’t think so. No wonder he wants to repeal the same-sex-marriage law in Canada! If he can’t even show a little PDA with his own kids the thought two gay or lesbian people being married to each other probably gives him heart palpitations!
Oh well, he takes over on February 6th so we will see how it goes. At least they should get along with the US govt. better. That last guy was so anti-American that no matter what we said he would say the opposite just for the principal of it. For example, if the American’s came out and said that people should drink lots of water and eat a healthy diet the old PM probably would have responded by denying that lots of water and a healthy diet had any benefits. Everyone knows you can be perfectly healthy on a diet of beer and Kraft dinner.
Have a great weekend. Now, I’m off to take that nap. : )
Sage advice that I received by email today from a SAHD (that would be stay at home dad.) I basically wasted my time today running around from store to store looking for some stuff that I know I could buy at a Wholefoods or a Trader Joe’s. The nearest Wholefoods is in Oakville or Toronto – only a 5-hour drive away. This is the CAPITAL of Canada- why can’t they have modern stores????? There are a couple more stores I can try down in the Glebe, but if they don’t have what I am looking for then I’m just giving up.
As you all probably know Canada voted in a new party in their election on Monday. The Conservatives won a minority government. I think that is good because they needed to teach the Liberals a lesson, and a majority Conservative govt. might be too right wing. They showed a clip of Harper dropping his kids off at school here in Ottawa. He shook their hands goodbye! Geez, they are little kids. If they were mine I would have hugged them goodbye, or at least just kissed them on the tops of their heads. But shake their hands goodbye? I don’t think so. No wonder he wants to repeal the same-sex-marriage law in Canada! If he can’t even show a little PDA with his own kids the thought two gay or lesbian people being married to each other probably gives him heart palpitations!
Oh well, he takes over on February 6th so we will see how it goes. At least they should get along with the US govt. better. That last guy was so anti-American that no matter what we said he would say the opposite just for the principal of it. For example, if the American’s came out and said that people should drink lots of water and eat a healthy diet the old PM probably would have responded by denying that lots of water and a healthy diet had any benefits. Everyone knows you can be perfectly healthy on a diet of beer and Kraft dinner.
Have a great weekend. Now, I’m off to take that nap. : )
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Getting Ready
OK, here is another little pregnancy secret that no one bothered to reveal to me: at some point the baby will get wedged in there somehow so that no matter which way you try to bend there is no possible way to use toilet paper. Yes, it is true. Several times now I have been stranded on the toilet, bouncing around, poking my belly saying, “C’mon kid! Move!” Oh, how I wish I had a bidet.
On Tuesday we had our second childbirth class. It was a long day since we drove back from Ft. Drum and then had class. It lasts from 1930 to 2130 – and ours always seems to go long because we have a couple of ESLs in the class and one granola guy and they are always asking questions. The class isn’t that bad, though. We both expected it to be totally lame but it is pretty informative. Of course, we still have 4 classes left. It is the one offered by the Childbirth Education Association so we are actually learning about the birth process, not how to be a patient (like the classes offered by the hospitals teach you.)
Last night we had a meeting with our doula. I finally got our birth plan (or birth preferences so as not to offend the nurses or whoever) squared away so she could go over it with us. She said it was pretty good – a lot better than some of the ones she sees. She wants me to put U’s in the words, though (like labour) so that the nurses don’t think I just copied it off some US website. I don’t know if I can do it! (You know how Canadians are: all hopped up on their maple-glazed donuts, running around on their 3-down football fields, adding extra u’s to words…) She also told us that our next-door neighbors just hired her, too. That will give me something to talk to her about next time I see her in the driveway.
That is pretty much it. We bought a car seat and a highchair down in NY. They are last year’s models so they were on sale. We got the car seat for $55 and the same model sells for about $180 up here. We got the high chair for $48 and the cheapest one I’ve seen up here is $80 – so we did pretty good. Now “we” just have to put together the crib and changing table that we bought at Ikea. The only big thing left to buy is a car, but we have to wait until the posting messages come out at Jack’s work before we do that. (I don’t want to jinx it, so I’m not talking about it until the messages come out!) We have been doing research on station wagons, though. We would both rather stab our eyes out than drive a mini-van and since gas costs $80 a gallon up here we don’t want an SUV – otherwise I would get a Dodge Ram kingcab pickup (with a hemi.) I was reading that the Dodge Magnum wagons have a hemi…. oh well, I’m sure we will end up with whatever used wagon is on sale here at that time!
On Tuesday we had our second childbirth class. It was a long day since we drove back from Ft. Drum and then had class. It lasts from 1930 to 2130 – and ours always seems to go long because we have a couple of ESLs in the class and one granola guy and they are always asking questions. The class isn’t that bad, though. We both expected it to be totally lame but it is pretty informative. Of course, we still have 4 classes left. It is the one offered by the Childbirth Education Association so we are actually learning about the birth process, not how to be a patient (like the classes offered by the hospitals teach you.)
Last night we had a meeting with our doula. I finally got our birth plan (or birth preferences so as not to offend the nurses or whoever) squared away so she could go over it with us. She said it was pretty good – a lot better than some of the ones she sees. She wants me to put U’s in the words, though (like labour) so that the nurses don’t think I just copied it off some US website. I don’t know if I can do it! (You know how Canadians are: all hopped up on their maple-glazed donuts, running around on their 3-down football fields, adding extra u’s to words…) She also told us that our next-door neighbors just hired her, too. That will give me something to talk to her about next time I see her in the driveway.
That is pretty much it. We bought a car seat and a highchair down in NY. They are last year’s models so they were on sale. We got the car seat for $55 and the same model sells for about $180 up here. We got the high chair for $48 and the cheapest one I’ve seen up here is $80 – so we did pretty good. Now “we” just have to put together the crib and changing table that we bought at Ikea. The only big thing left to buy is a car, but we have to wait until the posting messages come out at Jack’s work before we do that. (I don’t want to jinx it, so I’m not talking about it until the messages come out!) We have been doing research on station wagons, though. We would both rather stab our eyes out than drive a mini-van and since gas costs $80 a gallon up here we don’t want an SUV – otherwise I would get a Dodge Ram kingcab pickup (with a hemi.) I was reading that the Dodge Magnum wagons have a hemi…. oh well, I’m sure we will end up with whatever used wagon is on sale here at that time!
Monday, January 23, 2006
To The Moon…
If my mother-in-law says one more thing about my “nice, big, child-bearing hips”…..
Monday is Election Day in Canada – so we are leaving Ottawa. Yep, heading down to Ft. Drum/Watertown for Monday and Tuesday so there will be no new posts until Wednesday or so.
I keep getting phone calls from the candidates. I have to tell them I’m an American and can’t vote in their election. They always say, “Well, keep us in mind when you are a citizen.” I already am a citizen – of the USA! No dual citizenship for me! Anyway, it actually looks like the Canadians are going to smarten up and get rid of the incumbent. They have had a Liberal govt. for 12 years. It is time for a change. At least we will be able to watch real TV Monday night instead of “election coverage” all day. I will be sure to update you on who won or lost when I get back!! (I know – you are holding your breath in anticipation.)
After it stopped snowing (8 inches) we spent Saturday going around and looking at baby stuff and pricing it. Eeee-jole!! That stuff is expensive up here! Like, I want a “my breast friend” nursing pillow. Available from Amazon/Babies R Us for $35. You know what it costs up here??? Do ya???? $99.99 – on sale for $79.99!! And my mom wonders why I buy stuff online and have it shipped to her to mail to me! Holy camolie!! I got a Medela Mini-Electric Breast pump on Ebay for $10. It was on sale up here for $140. Even with the postage up here I still got a deal.
So, when we are at Ft. Drum (after we go to the Class VI store) we will be looking for baby stuff. Then, after we see whatever we get for gifts we will know if it will be worth a drive down to NY to buy stuff as opposed to buying it up here at the exorbitant Canadian prices. (Go ahead, check the exchange rate – it is almost on par now, too!)
Monday is Election Day in Canada – so we are leaving Ottawa. Yep, heading down to Ft. Drum/Watertown for Monday and Tuesday so there will be no new posts until Wednesday or so.
I keep getting phone calls from the candidates. I have to tell them I’m an American and can’t vote in their election. They always say, “Well, keep us in mind when you are a citizen.” I already am a citizen – of the USA! No dual citizenship for me! Anyway, it actually looks like the Canadians are going to smarten up and get rid of the incumbent. They have had a Liberal govt. for 12 years. It is time for a change. At least we will be able to watch real TV Monday night instead of “election coverage” all day. I will be sure to update you on who won or lost when I get back!! (I know – you are holding your breath in anticipation.)
After it stopped snowing (8 inches) we spent Saturday going around and looking at baby stuff and pricing it. Eeee-jole!! That stuff is expensive up here! Like, I want a “my breast friend” nursing pillow. Available from Amazon/Babies R Us for $35. You know what it costs up here??? Do ya???? $99.99 – on sale for $79.99!! And my mom wonders why I buy stuff online and have it shipped to her to mail to me! Holy camolie!! I got a Medela Mini-Electric Breast pump on Ebay for $10. It was on sale up here for $140. Even with the postage up here I still got a deal.
So, when we are at Ft. Drum (after we go to the Class VI store) we will be looking for baby stuff. Then, after we see whatever we get for gifts we will know if it will be worth a drive down to NY to buy stuff as opposed to buying it up here at the exorbitant Canadian prices. (Go ahead, check the exchange rate – it is almost on par now, too!)
Friday, January 20, 2006
48 days...
I get a newsletter talking about the baby's development each week. This is what it brought for me today:
At Week 33, Your Baby Could Come at Any Moment! Since more than half of all babies come early, yours could come at any time now!
EEeeeekkkkk - no she can't!! We aren't ready yet!!! We need those 48 or so days.
At Week 33, Your Baby Could Come at Any Moment! Since more than half of all babies come early, yours could come at any time now!
EEeeeekkkkk - no she can't!! We aren't ready yet!!! We need those 48 or so days.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Craving Venison
IT'S THE SECOND WEEK OF DEER CAMP
AND ALL THE GUYS ARE HERE
WE DRINK PLAY CARDS AND SHOOT THE BULL
BUT NEVER SHOOT NO DEER
(Lyrics by Da Yoopers)
So, yesterday I was telling you about why I like being pregnant. Today we will discuss the main reason I don’t like it. Is it the foot kicking my rib? The no drinking? The fear of the inevitable delivery? The crazy porn boobs? The sleeping on my side? No. Obviously the main reason is because I am missing out on an entire deer season. Missing out on deer season here in Ontario, home of some of the biggest bucks in North America.
I got into bow hunting awhile back and it turns out that I love it. I like bow hunting because of the sportsmanship of it. It takes more effort and practice than just shooting some deer from a mile away. There is just a big difference in shooting at a deer 25 yards away and shooting at one 200 yards away. (Not to mention the fact that I’m not even going to attempt to bring my guns to live with me here in Canada. That would be a nightmare and I am sure some of them aren’t even allowed here. So, they are safe at my parent’s house, awaiting the time when I once again move to the States and regain my 2nd Amendment Right to Keep and Bear Arms.)
Some people think it is crazy to get up in the dark and the cold and sit in a tree for hours, but for me it is peaceful and beautiful. It is one of those things you either get or you don’t get and it can’t be explained. Like people who collect Longaberger Baskets. I will never get that!
But, no hunting for me this year because first of all my hunting clothes don’t fit me now and secondly I don’t think that climbing trees is one of the recommended activities for pregnant women and thirdly even if I did make it up into a tree I wouldn’t be able to sit on my stand too comfortably and my bladder would not allow me to stay up there long enough to even make it worth while. No buck with half a brain would come near my area!
I do get to hear the stories though. Last Friday we went out to eat with the one bow hunter who works with Jack. I am hoping that I can go to the range with him and that he will show me the ins and outs of hunting here in Ontario next season. : ) Another couple at the table was telling about how they hit a deer once and then just let these hunters who stopped beside them have the deer! I’ve been waiting for someone to hit a deer in front of me this year to no avail! I have been craving me some venison chilli somethin’ awful!! Not to mention jerky, summer sausage, filets….Bambi’s daddy is soooo delicious!
Speaking of road kill salvaging, one of my friend’s just recently sent me his latest story. It is pretty funny and here it is:
Last month was the first time his son had participated in a "road kill collection." It was funny as hell. Scenario: My friend and his son are driving along, other woman hits 8 pointer with car (she is traumatized). They stop and check on her and find the deer on side of road is not as dead as it appears. All it had was one broken hind leg (down low, no meat damage). While poking it, it jumps up right in front of the son and the soccer mom (who is further Traumatized). Deer goes back down when a .45 slug rips thru its brain; soccer mom is further traumatized. Cops show up and when she doesn't want the deer he gives us tag for the thing. But before it goes in the truck it has to be gutted first, right? The son decides to wait in the car at this point and soccer mom is further traumatized to the point that she decides she needs pictures of my friend gutting this thing in the snow. To be sure she got the whole thing she used both camera phone and the camera in Dad’s car (who came to help her out). The funny part was that the cop asked Soccer Mom for all sorts of I.D. and asked her a dozen questions and never went past "who shot the deer" when it came to discharging a firearm on the side of the road.
Hee hee – yet another reason to love the States!!
AND ALL THE GUYS ARE HERE
WE DRINK PLAY CARDS AND SHOOT THE BULL
BUT NEVER SHOOT NO DEER
(Lyrics by Da Yoopers)
So, yesterday I was telling you about why I like being pregnant. Today we will discuss the main reason I don’t like it. Is it the foot kicking my rib? The no drinking? The fear of the inevitable delivery? The crazy porn boobs? The sleeping on my side? No. Obviously the main reason is because I am missing out on an entire deer season. Missing out on deer season here in Ontario, home of some of the biggest bucks in North America.
I got into bow hunting awhile back and it turns out that I love it. I like bow hunting because of the sportsmanship of it. It takes more effort and practice than just shooting some deer from a mile away. There is just a big difference in shooting at a deer 25 yards away and shooting at one 200 yards away. (Not to mention the fact that I’m not even going to attempt to bring my guns to live with me here in Canada. That would be a nightmare and I am sure some of them aren’t even allowed here. So, they are safe at my parent’s house, awaiting the time when I once again move to the States and regain my 2nd Amendment Right to Keep and Bear Arms.)
Some people think it is crazy to get up in the dark and the cold and sit in a tree for hours, but for me it is peaceful and beautiful. It is one of those things you either get or you don’t get and it can’t be explained. Like people who collect Longaberger Baskets. I will never get that!
But, no hunting for me this year because first of all my hunting clothes don’t fit me now and secondly I don’t think that climbing trees is one of the recommended activities for pregnant women and thirdly even if I did make it up into a tree I wouldn’t be able to sit on my stand too comfortably and my bladder would not allow me to stay up there long enough to even make it worth while. No buck with half a brain would come near my area!
I do get to hear the stories though. Last Friday we went out to eat with the one bow hunter who works with Jack. I am hoping that I can go to the range with him and that he will show me the ins and outs of hunting here in Ontario next season. : ) Another couple at the table was telling about how they hit a deer once and then just let these hunters who stopped beside them have the deer! I’ve been waiting for someone to hit a deer in front of me this year to no avail! I have been craving me some venison chilli somethin’ awful!! Not to mention jerky, summer sausage, filets….Bambi’s daddy is soooo delicious!
Speaking of road kill salvaging, one of my friend’s just recently sent me his latest story. It is pretty funny and here it is:
Last month was the first time his son had participated in a "road kill collection." It was funny as hell. Scenario: My friend and his son are driving along, other woman hits 8 pointer with car (she is traumatized). They stop and check on her and find the deer on side of road is not as dead as it appears. All it had was one broken hind leg (down low, no meat damage). While poking it, it jumps up right in front of the son and the soccer mom (who is further Traumatized). Deer goes back down when a .45 slug rips thru its brain; soccer mom is further traumatized. Cops show up and when she doesn't want the deer he gives us tag for the thing. But before it goes in the truck it has to be gutted first, right? The son decides to wait in the car at this point and soccer mom is further traumatized to the point that she decides she needs pictures of my friend gutting this thing in the snow. To be sure she got the whole thing she used both camera phone and the camera in Dad’s car (who came to help her out). The funny part was that the cop asked Soccer Mom for all sorts of I.D. and asked her a dozen questions and never went past "who shot the deer" when it came to discharging a firearm on the side of the road.
Hee hee – yet another reason to love the States!!
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Reflections on Being Pregnant
I feel like I have had a completely trouble-free pregnancy so far, and I’m damn near 38 so it’s not like I’m at the peak of physical perfection anymore. I just got back from another prenatal appointment and everything is fine. The doctor said that her feet are up by my ribcage. I knew it! I’ve been telling Jack that she is kicking my ribs and lodging her feet under one of them. That is comfy, let me tell you! At least it is a foot and not my imagination.
I know, I don’t want to jinx it by talking about it – especially now when I only have somewhere around 52 days left (if the Magic 8 Ball is right, and it always is. The doctor wouldn’t adjust her dates based on that today, though. ) But for now, I am enjoying it. If I had known that it would be like this I probably would have done this a long time ago (granted, I haven’t got to the delivery part yet.)
There are several reasons why I enjoy being pregnant, and they mostly outweigh the reasons why I don’t. One is that I seem to be only gaining weight on my belly and boobs. I can handle that – I just hope I can get rid of it, too. I was afraid of lots of back pain, so since the beginning I have been seeing a chiropractor every two weeks to keep my bones all aligned. So far, the only back pain I have is after I spend the day cleaning house (and that doesn’t happen too often.) My chiropractor is great! I lucked out when I got her and I really believe the treatment is one reason why I’ve felt so good throughout my pregnancy.
Another is that I have lost my sasquatch-like ability to grow body hair. Yes, I am a great fan of laser hair removal. After noticing that there is a laser hair removal place on every corner, even in Canada, I bought some stock in a company that makes the laser that can be used on darker skin/lighter hair. It is making me money $$$$ so I can’t be the only sasquatch out there – but it is nice to have some relief from it during this pregnancy. And I had always heard that pregnancy causes body hair growth. Go figure. I think it is because I am having a girl so I finally have enough “girl” hormones in me.
My knees don’t hurt anymore. I figure this is a result of the joints and ligaments becoming relaxed in pregnant women. Normally, when I go up stairs my knees make sckrinching noises. Sckriiinnnncchhhh, sckriiinnnnccchhh – it sounds gross and doesn’t feel that great, either. Now, there is no pain and much less sckrinching.
No more holding in my stomach – in fact for the first time in my life I am emailing people pictures of my stomach. I’m pregnant so there’s a reason for it to be big and round! (Plus, as my cousin points out I am “maintaining bellybutton integrity” so that is good.)
Another reason is that I feel like a normal person now. I don’t feel “crazy” now. I don’t feel the need to run away and “do something, anything, just get me out of here.” Another benefit of the extra hormones, I think. Of course, it is causing me some concern about what will happen to my state of mind after I have the baby and all the hormones get sweated out and go back to my “normal” level. I don’t want that to happen! I’ve often suspected I have a hormone issue. Once I even made a doctor check on my hormone levels but he said they were fine. This was an Army doctor, though, so I am a bit suspicious of his findings. Especially now, when pregnancy is supposed to be a hormonal and emotional rollercoaster but has instead made me feel “balanced” for the first time ever. Often I find myself thinking, “so this is what normal people feel like everyday? This is cool!”
I know, I don’t want to jinx it by talking about it – especially now when I only have somewhere around 52 days left (if the Magic 8 Ball is right, and it always is. The doctor wouldn’t adjust her dates based on that today, though. ) But for now, I am enjoying it. If I had known that it would be like this I probably would have done this a long time ago (granted, I haven’t got to the delivery part yet.)
There are several reasons why I enjoy being pregnant, and they mostly outweigh the reasons why I don’t. One is that I seem to be only gaining weight on my belly and boobs. I can handle that – I just hope I can get rid of it, too. I was afraid of lots of back pain, so since the beginning I have been seeing a chiropractor every two weeks to keep my bones all aligned. So far, the only back pain I have is after I spend the day cleaning house (and that doesn’t happen too often.) My chiropractor is great! I lucked out when I got her and I really believe the treatment is one reason why I’ve felt so good throughout my pregnancy.
Another is that I have lost my sasquatch-like ability to grow body hair. Yes, I am a great fan of laser hair removal. After noticing that there is a laser hair removal place on every corner, even in Canada, I bought some stock in a company that makes the laser that can be used on darker skin/lighter hair. It is making me money $$$$ so I can’t be the only sasquatch out there – but it is nice to have some relief from it during this pregnancy. And I had always heard that pregnancy causes body hair growth. Go figure. I think it is because I am having a girl so I finally have enough “girl” hormones in me.
My knees don’t hurt anymore. I figure this is a result of the joints and ligaments becoming relaxed in pregnant women. Normally, when I go up stairs my knees make sckrinching noises. Sckriiinnnncchhhh, sckriiinnnnccchhh – it sounds gross and doesn’t feel that great, either. Now, there is no pain and much less sckrinching.
No more holding in my stomach – in fact for the first time in my life I am emailing people pictures of my stomach. I’m pregnant so there’s a reason for it to be big and round! (Plus, as my cousin points out I am “maintaining bellybutton integrity” so that is good.)
Another reason is that I feel like a normal person now. I don’t feel “crazy” now. I don’t feel the need to run away and “do something, anything, just get me out of here.” Another benefit of the extra hormones, I think. Of course, it is causing me some concern about what will happen to my state of mind after I have the baby and all the hormones get sweated out and go back to my “normal” level. I don’t want that to happen! I’ve often suspected I have a hormone issue. Once I even made a doctor check on my hormone levels but he said they were fine. This was an Army doctor, though, so I am a bit suspicious of his findings. Especially now, when pregnancy is supposed to be a hormonal and emotional rollercoaster but has instead made me feel “balanced” for the first time ever. Often I find myself thinking, “so this is what normal people feel like everyday? This is cool!”
Monday, January 16, 2006
The Greatest Birthday Gifts on Earth
I’ve been searching for birthday gifts for some people online the past couple of days. There are so many to choose from it is hard to pick. Here are some of the standouts.
Astronaut Jesus - After a long journey from outer space, he returns with his message of love, unity and peace to the people of earth. (You gotta see it to believe it.)
Answer Me Jesus – When we were in New York at Urban Outfitters I saw this thing. Like the Magic 8 Ball, only better! Ask a question, flip him over and wait for such wisdom as “Believe” or “Repent!”
Jesus Bobble Head – I’m not obsessed with Jesus, but it’s a bobble head!!
Evil Knievel Bobble Head – In case you don’t want the Jesus one.
Earth Dog Tags – Should you ever be abducted by aliens while wearing Location Earth Dog Tags and not returned safely to Earth you will be entitled to a full refund of the purchase price. Why risk it?
Dolly the Love Sheep – This is a great gift for all your friends stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan. (I’m telling you, you can send anything over there as long as you aren’t too specific on your customs form.) And at only $14.95 it’s a bargain for everyone!
The Tooth Timer – Everyone knows you are supposed to brush your teeth for TWO WHOLE MINUTES! Use this handy tooth timer to help you brush properly.
Bacon Strip Band-Aids – Yes! Band-Aids that look like stips-o-bacon!
Pink Flamingos - Every lawn should have these. I tried to get some for in front of my hooch over in Iraq, but no one would send them to an APO box. : (
(Actually, just check out this whole website for all kinds of fun gifts!)
Well, I am sure there are lots more wonderful gift ideas out there, but this is all I have time to share with you now. I can always post more later!!
Astronaut Jesus - After a long journey from outer space, he returns with his message of love, unity and peace to the people of earth. (You gotta see it to believe it.)
Answer Me Jesus – When we were in New York at Urban Outfitters I saw this thing. Like the Magic 8 Ball, only better! Ask a question, flip him over and wait for such wisdom as “Believe” or “Repent!”
Jesus Bobble Head – I’m not obsessed with Jesus, but it’s a bobble head!!
Evil Knievel Bobble Head – In case you don’t want the Jesus one.
Earth Dog Tags – Should you ever be abducted by aliens while wearing Location Earth Dog Tags and not returned safely to Earth you will be entitled to a full refund of the purchase price. Why risk it?
Dolly the Love Sheep – This is a great gift for all your friends stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan. (I’m telling you, you can send anything over there as long as you aren’t too specific on your customs form.) And at only $14.95 it’s a bargain for everyone!
The Tooth Timer – Everyone knows you are supposed to brush your teeth for TWO WHOLE MINUTES! Use this handy tooth timer to help you brush properly.
Bacon Strip Band-Aids – Yes! Band-Aids that look like stips-o-bacon!
Pink Flamingos - Every lawn should have these. I tried to get some for in front of my hooch over in Iraq, but no one would send them to an APO box. : (
(Actually, just check out this whole website for all kinds of fun gifts!)
Well, I am sure there are lots more wonderful gift ideas out there, but this is all I have time to share with you now. I can always post more later!!
Friday, January 13, 2006
Another Reason America Rocks
Some of the reasons I love Americans are the exact reasons why some others don’t like us so much. I love how we know what we want, when we want it, and we don’t put up with a lot of BS in the process of getting it. Sure, it makes others think we are bossy and arrogant, but they just don’t understand! As I’ve said before, individually Canadians are nice, polite, and friendly – but a whole country full of them is creepy and unnerving.
Here is a little example of what I am talking about. Say, hypothetically, someone who lives in Ontario wanted to get married, but had been divorced outside of Canada. This little issue complicates the matter and adds several layers of bureaucracy to the process. Now instead of just going down to the court house and buying a marriage license one must send the license application, other various documents, and a letter from an Ontario lawyer stating why, exactly, your divorce should be recognized in Canada to some nether region on Ontario. Then, hopefully, “months” later you will receive a letter giving permission to go ahead and buy a marriage license. Even if the two people in question were married to each other and want to marry each other again.
This is where the whole “common sense vs. legislation” comment came in. I was explaining how it was ridiculous for someone in that situation to be subjected to the same rules, because if they didn’t recognize the divorce then we were still married to each other so what would it hurt for us to get married again? No dice.
By comparison, say these people live in Ottawa, which is only about 2 hours away from Watertown, NY (a military town right next to Ft. Drum.) These same people can drive down to Watertown with only a photo ID, their divorce papers, and a little cash and be married with no hassle other than the 24 hour waiting period between buying the license and the ceremony.
It is also cheaper and less of a hassle to do it in NY as indicated below:
Ontario
License - $135
Ceremony - $135 - $305
Letter from Ontario lawyer - ? $100
Total - $370 - $540
Other requirements
2 witnesses (you provide)
2 forms of ID
Letter of permission from Ministry
Time required – Unknown # of months
Hassle Factor – 10
(on scale of 1-10)
New York
License - $40
Ceremony - $40
Gas - $50
Hotel room - $100
Total - $230
Other requirements
1 witness (they will provide)
1 photo ID
Divorce papers
48 hours, max
Hassle Factor – 2
(on scale of 1-10)
In addition, the Watertown courthouse has a delightfully cheesy arch decorated with pink taffeta, flowers, and little white lights under which you can get married and take pictures. Not to mention the fact that their website was easy to find and easy to navigate whereas the Ottawa website is much harder to find, navigate, and still necessitated a visit to a municipal office and a phone call to validate the information.
So it looks like we, hypothetically, will be taking a trip down to Ft. Drum here shortly. Even though we have to spend the night it does have the benefit of being able to go to Target, and the Class VI store on post (that is military talk for liquor store.) We can buy alcohol there for more than half price what it costs up here. (I will write a blog about liquor costs up here one of these days, I promise.) Even though I can’t have any now there is no reason not to get some Crown and this time I have to get some Bombay Sapphire gin since the first drink I am going to have after this baby is a Bombay Sapphire gin martini with blue cheese stuffed olives…mmmmmm.
God Bless the USA!!
Here is a little example of what I am talking about. Say, hypothetically, someone who lives in Ontario wanted to get married, but had been divorced outside of Canada. This little issue complicates the matter and adds several layers of bureaucracy to the process. Now instead of just going down to the court house and buying a marriage license one must send the license application, other various documents, and a letter from an Ontario lawyer stating why, exactly, your divorce should be recognized in Canada to some nether region on Ontario. Then, hopefully, “months” later you will receive a letter giving permission to go ahead and buy a marriage license. Even if the two people in question were married to each other and want to marry each other again.
This is where the whole “common sense vs. legislation” comment came in. I was explaining how it was ridiculous for someone in that situation to be subjected to the same rules, because if they didn’t recognize the divorce then we were still married to each other so what would it hurt for us to get married again? No dice.
By comparison, say these people live in Ottawa, which is only about 2 hours away from Watertown, NY (a military town right next to Ft. Drum.) These same people can drive down to Watertown with only a photo ID, their divorce papers, and a little cash and be married with no hassle other than the 24 hour waiting period between buying the license and the ceremony.
It is also cheaper and less of a hassle to do it in NY as indicated below:
Ontario
License - $135
Ceremony - $135 - $305
Letter from Ontario lawyer - ? $100
Total - $370 - $540
Other requirements
2 witnesses (you provide)
2 forms of ID
Letter of permission from Ministry
Time required – Unknown # of months
Hassle Factor – 10
(on scale of 1-10)
New York
License - $40
Ceremony - $40
Gas - $50
Hotel room - $100
Total - $230
Other requirements
1 witness (they will provide)
1 photo ID
Divorce papers
48 hours, max
Hassle Factor – 2
(on scale of 1-10)
In addition, the Watertown courthouse has a delightfully cheesy arch decorated with pink taffeta, flowers, and little white lights under which you can get married and take pictures. Not to mention the fact that their website was easy to find and easy to navigate whereas the Ottawa website is much harder to find, navigate, and still necessitated a visit to a municipal office and a phone call to validate the information.
So it looks like we, hypothetically, will be taking a trip down to Ft. Drum here shortly. Even though we have to spend the night it does have the benefit of being able to go to Target, and the Class VI store on post (that is military talk for liquor store.) We can buy alcohol there for more than half price what it costs up here. (I will write a blog about liquor costs up here one of these days, I promise.) Even though I can’t have any now there is no reason not to get some Crown and this time I have to get some Bombay Sapphire gin since the first drink I am going to have after this baby is a Bombay Sapphire gin martini with blue cheese stuffed olives…mmmmmm.
God Bless the USA!!
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
I Want, er, Have a Hippopotamus!
I want a hippopotamus for Christmas Only a hippopotamus will do No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses I only like hippopotamuses And hippopotamuses like me too
This song has been stuck in my head the past couple days. Last night it was relentless – an endless loop playing in my head all night long. Make it stop!!!!!
Why is the hippo song in my head? Well, take a look at this delightful piece of kitsch I was given.
Who could resist such an adorable little hippo creamer? A hippo, dressed as a clown. I would hate to see the rest of this dish set. Wouldn’t it be kind of creepy? Anyway, now I can serve cream, syrup, gravy – any liquid food item I want – out of this lovely hippoclown creamer.
You may be wondering how I came to be the lucky recipient of such an item. Well, I gave a friend of mine (what does one call their birth-mother’s husband? A birth-step-father? Hey you, with the camera?) a lovely little dreamcatcher. You know, the Native American amulets used to capture nightmares while sleeping? Well, they happen to give him nightmares. Nightmares of living in a van down by the river and that sort of thing. This hippoclown is his retaliation. I only hope I can find an equally appropriate gift in return! : )
This song has been stuck in my head the past couple days. Last night it was relentless – an endless loop playing in my head all night long. Make it stop!!!!!
Why is the hippo song in my head? Well, take a look at this delightful piece of kitsch I was given.
Who could resist such an adorable little hippo creamer? A hippo, dressed as a clown. I would hate to see the rest of this dish set. Wouldn’t it be kind of creepy? Anyway, now I can serve cream, syrup, gravy – any liquid food item I want – out of this lovely hippoclown creamer.
You may be wondering how I came to be the lucky recipient of such an item. Well, I gave a friend of mine (what does one call their birth-mother’s husband? A birth-step-father? Hey you, with the camera?) a lovely little dreamcatcher. You know, the Native American amulets used to capture nightmares while sleeping? Well, they happen to give him nightmares. Nightmares of living in a van down by the river and that sort of thing. This hippoclown is his retaliation. I only hope I can find an equally appropriate gift in return! : )
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Quote of the Day
After waiting on hold for 1 hour yesterday (and being cut off at closing time) and waiting on hold for 45 minutes today I finally got a hold of the Ministry of Government Services. After what I knew would be a futile conversation this is what the lady told me:
“It’s not common sense that matters. It is legislation that matters.”
(Once again reinforcing my belief that Ministries are evil and Departments are good – or at least less evil.)
“It’s not common sense that matters. It is legislation that matters.”
(Once again reinforcing my belief that Ministries are evil and Departments are good – or at least less evil.)
A Weekend of Furniture, Funeral and Family
This past weekend we had to drive down to Trenton. A friend’s father passed away and we went to the memorial reception on Saturday. The drive down to Trenton is like one of those Twilight Zone drives. It takes at least 3 hours and it seems longer. Especially now when sitting in a pickup for that long isn’t so pleasant.
The good thing is we got to stop at Oxford furniture. It is this place about halfway in between here and there that makes solid wood furniture by hand out of oak, maple, and cherry. Before we met Jack had an armoire made for himself out of the oak, then after we got married we had our bed made there. It is a really nice set and we have been meaning to finish it off. All this time we have been using TV trays as our nightstands, and I still have my old Ikea chest of drawers. So, we stopped and ordered two nightstands and a tall dresser for me. We also couldn’t resist getting a rocking chair to match. It will all be delivered in mid-March, but I am hoping they get it done a little earlier than that! It will be nice to have the bedroom set all matching and it will last forever. It was expensive, but it will be something that we can pass on.
Once it is delivered then we will have to find a new home for the two TV trays. We have a set of five and none of them have ever been used as a TV tray. The two serve as nightstands, one sits next to our couch with a pillow on it and it is Conan’s couch, one is in the office and is a file/laptop holder, and one is in the entryway and it is where we throw the keys when we come in the house. Maybe these two can actually become TV trays, or maybe they will be useful in the nursery?
The other “good” thing about going down to Trenton is that is where Jack’s mum lives. So we spent the night with her. Over Christmas she bought one of those blow up mattresses for us. We sleep downstairs on this old sofa bed, and it is not the most comfy thing in the world – unless you like sleeping with a bar across your back. I don’t think I would have been able to sleep on it this time. The blow up mattress was great! The pump had it up in less than five minutes and it was comfy.
And that was our weekend. We made the Twilight Zone drive back home and then we had to haul the Christmas tree outside for trash pickup this week. What a mess! I’m still finding pine needles everywhere. Next time I’m getting one of those big tree bags. It has been awhile since I had a tree so I forgot about it this time.
The good thing is we got to stop at Oxford furniture. It is this place about halfway in between here and there that makes solid wood furniture by hand out of oak, maple, and cherry. Before we met Jack had an armoire made for himself out of the oak, then after we got married we had our bed made there. It is a really nice set and we have been meaning to finish it off. All this time we have been using TV trays as our nightstands, and I still have my old Ikea chest of drawers. So, we stopped and ordered two nightstands and a tall dresser for me. We also couldn’t resist getting a rocking chair to match. It will all be delivered in mid-March, but I am hoping they get it done a little earlier than that! It will be nice to have the bedroom set all matching and it will last forever. It was expensive, but it will be something that we can pass on.
Once it is delivered then we will have to find a new home for the two TV trays. We have a set of five and none of them have ever been used as a TV tray. The two serve as nightstands, one sits next to our couch with a pillow on it and it is Conan’s couch, one is in the office and is a file/laptop holder, and one is in the entryway and it is where we throw the keys when we come in the house. Maybe these two can actually become TV trays, or maybe they will be useful in the nursery?
The other “good” thing about going down to Trenton is that is where Jack’s mum lives. So we spent the night with her. Over Christmas she bought one of those blow up mattresses for us. We sleep downstairs on this old sofa bed, and it is not the most comfy thing in the world – unless you like sleeping with a bar across your back. I don’t think I would have been able to sleep on it this time. The blow up mattress was great! The pump had it up in less than five minutes and it was comfy.
And that was our weekend. We made the Twilight Zone drive back home and then we had to haul the Christmas tree outside for trash pickup this week. What a mess! I’m still finding pine needles everywhere. Next time I’m getting one of those big tree bags. It has been awhile since I had a tree so I forgot about it this time.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Happy New Year!!
I for one am happy that 2005 is over. What a crazy year. Not that 2006 isn’t going to be crazy, but it will be a new kind of craziness, what with the new baby and all.
Our holidays went well and our trip to New York as so fun! Only I forgot my address book so we couldn't link up with our friend's down there.
It was Jack’s first trip there so we had a really good time. We stayed right in midtown at the W Hotel. It was a great location since we could walk to Rockefeller Center, Radio City Music Hall, the Empire State Building, the UN building, Trump Towers, etc. I mean, you have to walk around in New York so we did, but not as much as we would have if I weren’t pregnant. This extra ball-o-weight on my belly really slows down my pace! So, we took cabs sometimes and we also got a bus tour that we could hop on and off of the bus. That was great for the rainy day. It was warm down there compared to here, and even when it was raining it wasn’t too bad. We went to Zabars and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Everything was just really crowded because I guess a lot of people were there early for New Year’s in Time’s Square. We never did get into the Empire State Building because standing in line for 3-6 hours was not on our agenda!
We saw the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular with the Rockettes. It was really neat and started off with a 3D film of Santa and his sleigh over New York City. We had some amazing meals, too. Mmmmm, we had to have Mexican food twice since we can’t get that up here. The freshly made guacamole and tortilla soup we had for lunch on our last day was sooooo good! We went to an Italian place one night and I had lamb chops. The only time I can have lamb is when we go out because Jack hates it so I don’t cook it at home. It was also delicious, but not as good as the ones I had last year on New Year’s at Emeril’s restaurant in New Orleans.
The most emotional part of the trip for me was the World Trade Center site. Wow. We got there and when we walked up to this empty hole in the ground where the towers used to be my throat just closed up. Then, when we went into St. Paul’s Chapel I just lost it. I didn’t think I would be so overwhelmed this many years later. It is just that that day affected so many of my friend’s lives. That day certainly F*ed up my life for a while. I think it is weird how now, 4 years later, my life is basically exactly back to where it was pre-9/11. Exactly….only this time my body is letting me stay pregnant. I find it very strange and only hope that those 4 years between then and now have served some purpose, because right now I don’t know what the hell it is. Maybe just to be able to appreciate normalcy?
Our holidays went well and our trip to New York as so fun! Only I forgot my address book so we couldn't link up with our friend's down there.
It was Jack’s first trip there so we had a really good time. We stayed right in midtown at the W Hotel. It was a great location since we could walk to Rockefeller Center, Radio City Music Hall, the Empire State Building, the UN building, Trump Towers, etc. I mean, you have to walk around in New York so we did, but not as much as we would have if I weren’t pregnant. This extra ball-o-weight on my belly really slows down my pace! So, we took cabs sometimes and we also got a bus tour that we could hop on and off of the bus. That was great for the rainy day. It was warm down there compared to here, and even when it was raining it wasn’t too bad. We went to Zabars and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Everything was just really crowded because I guess a lot of people were there early for New Year’s in Time’s Square. We never did get into the Empire State Building because standing in line for 3-6 hours was not on our agenda!
We saw the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular with the Rockettes. It was really neat and started off with a 3D film of Santa and his sleigh over New York City. We had some amazing meals, too. Mmmmm, we had to have Mexican food twice since we can’t get that up here. The freshly made guacamole and tortilla soup we had for lunch on our last day was sooooo good! We went to an Italian place one night and I had lamb chops. The only time I can have lamb is when we go out because Jack hates it so I don’t cook it at home. It was also delicious, but not as good as the ones I had last year on New Year’s at Emeril’s restaurant in New Orleans.
The most emotional part of the trip for me was the World Trade Center site. Wow. We got there and when we walked up to this empty hole in the ground where the towers used to be my throat just closed up. Then, when we went into St. Paul’s Chapel I just lost it. I didn’t think I would be so overwhelmed this many years later. It is just that that day affected so many of my friend’s lives. That day certainly F*ed up my life for a while. I think it is weird how now, 4 years later, my life is basically exactly back to where it was pre-9/11. Exactly….only this time my body is letting me stay pregnant. I find it very strange and only hope that those 4 years between then and now have served some purpose, because right now I don’t know what the hell it is. Maybe just to be able to appreciate normalcy?
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