Craving Venison

IT'S THE SECOND WEEK OF DEER CAMP
AND ALL THE GUYS ARE HERE
WE DRINK PLAY CARDS AND SHOOT THE BULL
BUT NEVER SHOOT NO DEER
(Lyrics by Da Yoopers)

So, yesterday I was telling you about why I like being pregnant. Today we will discuss the main reason I don’t like it. Is it the foot kicking my rib? The no drinking? The fear of the inevitable delivery? The crazy porn boobs? The sleeping on my side? No. Obviously the main reason is because I am missing out on an entire deer season. Missing out on deer season here in Ontario, home of some of the biggest bucks in North America.

I got into bow hunting awhile back and it turns out that I love it. I like bow hunting because of the sportsmanship of it. It takes more effort and practice than just shooting some deer from a mile away. There is just a big difference in shooting at a deer 25 yards away and shooting at one 200 yards away. (Not to mention the fact that I’m not even going to attempt to bring my guns to live with me here in Canada. That would be a nightmare and I am sure some of them aren’t even allowed here. So, they are safe at my parent’s house, awaiting the time when I once again move to the States and regain my 2nd Amendment Right to Keep and Bear Arms.)

Some people think it is crazy to get up in the dark and the cold and sit in a tree for hours, but for me it is peaceful and beautiful. It is one of those things you either get or you don’t get and it can’t be explained. Like people who collect Longaberger Baskets. I will never get that!

But, no hunting for me this year because first of all my hunting clothes don’t fit me now and secondly I don’t think that climbing trees is one of the recommended activities for pregnant women and thirdly even if I did make it up into a tree I wouldn’t be able to sit on my stand too comfortably and my bladder would not allow me to stay up there long enough to even make it worth while. No buck with half a brain would come near my area!

I do get to hear the stories though. Last Friday we went out to eat with the one bow hunter who works with Jack. I am hoping that I can go to the range with him and that he will show me the ins and outs of hunting here in Ontario next season. : ) Another couple at the table was telling about how they hit a deer once and then just let these hunters who stopped beside them have the deer! I’ve been waiting for someone to hit a deer in front of me this year to no avail! I have been craving me some venison chilli somethin’ awful!! Not to mention jerky, summer sausage, filets….Bambi’s daddy is soooo delicious!

Speaking of road kill salvaging, one of my friend’s just recently sent me his latest story. It is pretty funny and here it is:

Last month was the first time his son had participated in a "road kill collection." It was funny as hell. Scenario: My friend and his son are driving along, other woman hits 8 pointer with car (she is traumatized). They stop and check on her and find the deer on side of road is not as dead as it appears. All it had was one broken hind leg (down low, no meat damage). While poking it, it jumps up right in front of the son and the soccer mom (who is further Traumatized). Deer goes back down when a .45 slug rips thru its brain; soccer mom is further traumatized. Cops show up and when she doesn't want the deer he gives us tag for the thing. But before it goes in the truck it has to be gutted first, right? The son decides to wait in the car at this point and soccer mom is further traumatized to the point that she decides she needs pictures of my friend gutting this thing in the snow. To be sure she got the whole thing she used both camera phone and the camera in Dad’s car (who came to help her out). The funny part was that the cop asked Soccer Mom for all sorts of I.D. and asked her a dozen questions and never went past "who shot the deer" when it came to discharging a firearm on the side of the road.

Hee hee – yet another reason to love the States!!