Probably TMI. Oh, Well!

I miss Jack. I miss talking to him. He is funny.

If you ever wanted to be a fly on the wall and listen to our conversations here is your chance!

Recent phone call:

Me: So, at my appointment I'm going to ask the Dr. when you can come in for you appointment.

J: Appt for what?

T: You know.

J: I don't know. It will hurt.

T: Oh, it doesn't hurt. I hear it feels like getting snapped with a rubber band.

J: Getting snapped with a rubber band HURTS!!

T: Yea? They took my uterus out. You saw it! That hurt. Now another baby is going to come out one way or another. It's your turn!

J: You're right. Maybe I’ll just wait and do it when we get back to Canada.

T: What? We’re not going to do it for a year?

J: No. It took you longer than that to “flower” last time anyway. It will be ok.
(Apparently I married an 18th century gentleman. Who says their wife “flowers?”)

T: Well, that was different because we wanted another kid. I’m not depending on that for total birth control!

T: But you know, I was thinking we should maybe have 3 kids.
J: What?! Uhhhh....

T: If we do, I'm NOT having it, though. We'll have to adopt. So, what I'm saying is, if you are going to bring home one of those little orphanage Afghani kids it's ok with me. Just warn me first.

J: Yea, right. What am I going to do? Open up my suitcase and say, "Look what I got?"

(He is working with an orphanage there. I don't know if he will be able to resist. I think he would have brought home a little Bosnian kid when he was there if he would have been married at the time.)

(PS: Turns out they don’t actually get to go to the orphanage like they did in Bosnia. They just do fund raisers, which is kind of bogus. But it means there won’t be any little Afghani kids in his suitcase.)

(PPS: He has to wait until 6 weeks after the baby is born before they will snip him. He can go in at 4 weeks to be “counselled.”)

Why I Miss Him:

Before he left we were just hanging out one night and he went into the kitchen to get a glass to share some water I was drinking. He came back out and kept bitching about how dirty the glass was. Finally, after he said something about the 5th time he said, "My God! Look at this slime! I had to pick the dirtiest cup in the kitchen."

Well, I AM THE DISHWAHER in our house so I was thinking, I may have missed a spot or two, but there is no way I washed a glass that poorly. I finally looked at the glass and no normal human would be drinking out of it. It was covered in cooking grease and there were things stuck to it. Ewwww.

So I asked him, "Where did you get that? Out of the sink?"

J: Yea

T: Out of the sink full of dirty dishes?

J: Yea

T: So, you've been bitching for 20 minutes about how dirty your glass is - that you got out of the DIRTY dishes pile?

J: Uhm, yea.....

T: You’re stupid.
(But at least I didn't feel bad about my dishwashing skills anymore.)

Now, Sammi can talk in sentences, too, when she wants. She may not look like me, but she sure acts like me. (Trouble!!)

We were in the bath one night and she pointed and said:

G: Mama, what’s that?

T: It’s a bear.

G: No, it’s a tattoo.

T: You’re right. It’s mama’s bear tattoo.

Then, when we got out a little later she said:

G: I want a tattoo, too.

T: Well, you have to wait until you are 18. That is only 16 years away. Can you wait that long?

G: No.
(That is what I’m afraid of…..)

I haven’t even told her about my old primary & alternate rule, but she already knows it!

The other day I was putting up her hair. I said, "Oh, you look so pretty." Then, as a joke I said, "Do you have any boyfriends?"

She said, "SI!!. Two."
(gasp)

I asked, "Who are they? Joe and Oliver?"

She said, "Yes, Joe and Oliver."

Then I asked her, "Who is more handsome?"

She just looked at me and said, "OLIVER!!"

(Hmm, I think she is right. But that is going to be trouble in about 11 years or so, too!)