Happy Halloween!!

Yay!! It's Halloween today. I have 85 bags of candy ready to hand out - all tied with orange curly ribbon and with the good stuff. No reject candy from our house! (Remember the old guy who would hand out pennies, or the sample toothpaste and toothbrushes? At least you can't hand out apples any more, because how lame is that? An apple?)
On Saturday we bought a pumpkin, after they went on sale, and we carved it up. Tonight I am going to put it outside to lure in the trick-or-treaters. We will see if it survives the night or falls prey to a trick.
Have a haunted evening, everyone!! http://minibytes.mondominishows.com/poo/affiliates/play.asp?Affil=iwon&W

Happy Halloween! 

My Cat-O-Lantern!! 

GIFT GIFT GIFT GIFT!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know that many of you are planning on sending us something because we are having a baby. I want you to know I appreciate it, but there is more paperwork since you will be sending it to “(let me steal, er, I mean tax your money) Canada.”

When you mail or ship something make sure it says GIFT in big bold letters on EVERY SINGLE PIECE of paper they put on the box. It probably wouldn’t hurt to write GIFT all over the box. And no matter what the UPS people tell you NEVER EVER EVER put our names in the Company Name section anywhere! Otherwise no matter what I tell the UPS guy I will be deemed a Company for duty purposes. So, no matter if you mail or ship – make it clear to everyone that it is a GIFT and make sure the postal or mailing center people put that on EVERY PIECE of paper they attach to the box – or else I get to pay duty on it.

Yes, I have had to pay duty on everything lately and it is getting on my nerves! I just had to give the UPS guy $24.88 to get a box of goods valued at $30 American. That is because, if the gift part doesn’t punch them in the eyes, any shipments made to Ontario addresses will be assessed the Ontario Resale Sales Tax ("PST") by customs upon crossing the border, and that bites. (I thank GOD everyday for the Boston Tea Party when I am up here.)

So, make sure every piece of paper says gift and make sure my name is NEVER entered in a Company Name ________ section! Thanks and have a great weekend!

A Duke Sized Bed

You know what they need to make? A Duke sized bed. Yep, duke sized. A Full size bed is 54 x 75 inches. A Queen is 60 x 80, and a King is 76 x 80. So, you basically have a 6-inch difference from a full to a queen and a 16-inch difference from a queen to a king. Now, what with our giant pillow-nest we’ve been building the queen is feeling a little tight – but when we were down in DC, sleeping on a hotel king it was GIANT!! I don’t know if there is a need for a bed that big – a bed that 4 adults could sleep comfortably on. I just want a bed that 3 people can sleep on – or 2 people, a gestating baby, a restless cat, and a million pillows. Sounds like I need a duke sized bed. It would be about 68 x 80, which should be about perfect! Now, someone get busy and make one and market the hell out of it so I can buy it! Or, since you got the idea from me you can just give me one with the sheets to go with it!

Another design flaw

I get jealous of the DP sleeping on his back each night, snoring away…. Apparently pregnant chicks past the 1st trimester should not sleep on their backs anymore. I even asked my doctor about it. The entire weight of the baby is laying on two major blood vessels then, the aorta and the inferior vena cava. I don’t really know what that means – but I did wake up on my back one night and my arms were tingling like they were falling asleep, so maybe my blood supply was being cut off somewhere. Why else would my arms fall asleep if I’m on my back? Well, that is how I normally sleep – on my back, 1 pillow under my head, hands neatly clasped beneath my chest. Ahhhh, comfort. The books say, “after a few nights your body will soon adjust to the new sleep position.” That is a load of crapola!! At least I have entertainment when I’m lying there awake. Now I can feel the baby moving and she is bouncing around in there like my uterus is her own private trampoline.

Now I have also succumbed to the need for a nest of pillows that often overtakes pregnant people. We have 7 pillows on our bed now, and one is the big long one so that counts as 2. So really, we have 8 pillows on the bed and I am contemplating adding another one. To be honest, only 4 (5) of those pillows are mine. DP always sleeps with 3 pillows, but he also sleeps with clothes on so I consider it just another sleep issue with him.

So, there I am each night lying on my side, legs and feet entwined in pillows – awake. Then I get bored being on one side and turn over. This is not the split second action it is when non-pregnant. First I have to disengage from the pillows, and then heft over onto my back where I stay for a few, brief, precious moments. Then I thrust the other hip up to throw my belly and boobs onto the other side. Of course, all this movement makes me have to tinkle so then I have to get out of bed (also more time consuming than when non-pregnant), go to the bathroom, then come back and get all situated in my pillow nest again.

Well, 20 weeks down, 20 to go (that also equals 5 months down, 5 months to go.) Then I can sleep on my back again!!!

Today I talk about my cat

Our cat is so spoiled. He gets to eat as much Science Diet hairball control formula food as he wants, he gets soft food as a treat at least twice a week, and he recently got one of those cat waterer filter machines. He loves that. He likes to lick the water right where it comes out of the filter to come down the fountain. It was on sale, ok. He drinks tons more water now and we’ve noticed that his coat is shinier and his dandruff is gone. I think it’s because of the water. Now it tastes good, not stale with pieces of food floating around in it. He’s so soft and cuddly and he has to follow us around like a puppy (when he’s not sleeping.) He will even fetch popcorn. But we don’t get popcorn now because our microwave refuses to pop it. It just heats up the oil and burns the bag until it starts on fire with no popping involved at all! I think it is time for a new microwave. I mean, what good is it? Sure, it warms up food and cooks baked potatoes but if it won’t pop popcorn it’s time to go!
Last night it was time to trim the cat’s nails again. One reason I love DP so much is because he has taken over all nail-clipping duties. When Conan was my cat I used to load him up and take him to the vet and pay them $10 to do it. I just can’t!! You can see how much Conan likes this in this picture. He looks so funny when he sits like that – like a little prairie dog with his belly all hanging out.
I told DP that he was going to have to trim the baby’s nails, too. He said no way. The thought of that creeps me out. Their little tiny razor sharp nails. Maybe I’ll be able to get over it when she is like Edward scissors hands and slicing her face all up. Maybe I’ll just bite her nails off. Oh well, for now I am happy that I don’t have to take Conan to the vet to get his nails trimmed!

Conan  

Righty-tighty....

You know what is fun? Building things with the DP. We just finished putting yet another IKEA Gorm shelf together. Those things have to be the biggest pieces of crap ever and I am the proud owner of a whole basement, garage and tool shed full of them. If I was back in Kansas I would just go to a lumberyard and buy the wood, but I don’t even know where a lumberyard is up here. Maybe if they had some more lumberyards they could sell their soft wood up here instead of antagonizing the US about it. (Actually, I’m on the Canadian’s side on that…..)

At least we have real tools to put these things together. I can imagine being a college student putting them together with an allen-wrench. What a nightmare! So, anyway, we put this last one together and then DP shuts the ratchet set, but one side isn’t closed – so we have ratchet pieces all over the place. At one point we couldn’t get the screws to go in so finally I asked, “are you trying to take them out?” Yes, we had the drill going the wrong way. I don’t think he thought it was very funny when I said, “righty tighty, lefty loosey.”

Yesterday I opened my big new box of fat bastard clothes. I got all my maternity stuff on Ebay because have you priced maternity clothes? Insane – so I let some other sucker pay full price for this stuff. Well, I put on one of my new outfits and it is still a little big, but wearable. Then DP gets home from work and says in an excited voice, “Oh, are those your new clothes?” Yes. Then, he replies, “You look like a big brown shopping bag.” Great, now I’ll think that every time I wear the beige outfit! Later that night I asked if he wanted to see my 89-year-old man pants. Seriously, what is up with these clothes? The waistband comes up to under my new boobs. Not attractive – one reason why you have to wear all the hatching jackets on the outside.

22 days later....

OK, for those of you who have been waiting to know. While I was down in DC I kept calling my doctor's nurse everyday to see if the amnio results had come back yet. I was starting to freak out because I thought maybe they weren't going to tell me since I was out of town and it was bad news.
But finally, 22 days after the test, they had the results (only because he kept calling and bugging the lab so I would stop bugging him.) The results came back fine and it is a little girl!!!! Yay!!!! We are so excited. We really wanted a little girl and are so relieved to get the test results.
Now I get to start fixing up the nursury in preparation for the little tyke! : )

Meximelts and cheesecake

The trip to DC was fun but it went really quickly. I got my fill of Taco Bell meximelts and I discovered that Starbucks carries the Cheesecake Factory cheesecake. Normally, that wouldn’t be that big of deal, but it is holiday season so that means they have their pumpkin flavored cheesecake. OMG!! It is soooo delicious. Practically everyday I had a tea and pumpkin cheesecake there.

While there I introduced the other Canadians to Trader Joe’s. We all wish there was a Trader Joe’s up here. I stocked up on the Masala Simmer Sauce. That stuff is awesome. I really do wish there was a Whole Foods and Trader Joe's here. There is so much stuff I can't find here. The natural food stores are like what we had down in the States in the 60s (or what I imagine we had back then) - but hey, at least the electricity stays on all day!

Basically, I spent the week shopping for things I can’t get up here. One of those things happened to be a sports-bra big enough for my new porn-boobs. The sports store up here only carries clothes for gumdrops, and since I am not a size 6 20 year old anymore that means I am out of luck. The biggest sports-bras they carry max out at my normal size. I have plenty of sports-bras and as you know they are stretchy – but there is no way to fit a 36B bra onto 38DD boobs. Believe me, I tried and probably ruined one of my bras.
For those of you who think I am bragging please be assured that I am not. It is definitely a complaint. At least it has answered the age-old question of “should I get a boob job?” The answer is NO!! When I was in Target I was wearing this shirt that ties on the side. Normally I can look down my side and make sure it is still tied. Well, not anymore. That day I looked down and all I saw was boob. So I grabbed it to move it out of the way so I could see. Then I realized that I can’t just go around grabbing my boobs and moving them around all the time! What would people think?
Apparently Americans just have bigger boobs because there was even a SELECTION of larger sized sports-bras. I was so excited because I thought I was going to have to start using duct tape or something so I could continue to work out.

The drive down and back was pretty, especially through Ontario, New York and Pennsylvania. The leaves are changing and there were some gorgeous colors out there! It was rainy and dreary all week, but the leaves looked nice through the mist and fog. It was nice to get back home, though.

Since I spent the whole week mostly just eating and shopping I figured I gained my whole month’s allotment already, but I’m still doing ok. I eat dessert a lot more now, but before I would always choose a drink instead of dessert. Now that a bottle, er, I mean, glass of Shiraz isn’t an option I go for the dessert every time. There is no Cheesecake Factory Pumpkin Cheesecake up here so that is one thing. Also, on Sunday after we got back we went to the Fitness Depot and I bought an elliptical machine. It was delivered on Monday and it is awesome!! I figured I wasn’t even going to pretend like I was going to go out “running” in the ice and snow this winter. The sidewalks are perilous to me as it is – it will be funny watching me trying to navigate them this winter just walking, let alone getting out on them for a run. Plus, I figure the elliptical machine will come in handy after the baby, too. I can hop on while she plays and we’re both happy!

Attack of the Killer Flashlight!

This is one of those stories about someone getting hurt that is funny (if you’re not the one getting hurt!)

We recently bought a new shed for the backyard and it was finally just installed. Well, the DP (that stands for “dear” partner in case you are wondering – or “dumbass” if I’m mad at him, or in this case “dorky.”) decides that we have to paint the floor before we can put anything in it. He did the first coat on Tuesday, and HAD to finish it up last night. He has visitors in from out of town at work, so he went out drinking with them for 3 ½ hours yesterday before I picked him up. We walk in the door and I say, “I don’t think you should paint tonight.” But, there is a cold front headed this way so he had to ‘git er done.’

He requested a flashlight so I gave him one and he headed out to the shed. Soon, I hear banging, crashing, and door slamming in the basement. I wisely decided to stay out of it. Later, when he came in I asked what happened and this is the funny part!

He was painting and the flashlight hit the edge of a shelf we put up in there. It came back and hit him, broke his new glasses and nearly broke his nose. In pain, he yells and leans forward to grab his head and bashes his head into the shelf!! Meanwhile, the flashlight drops into the pan of paint, splashes paint all over DP ruining his shirt. Then the light bounces out of the paint and smashes into little pieces all over the floor!! That is so hilarious. I woke us up in the middle of the night, laughing so hard the bed was shaking and tears were coming out of my eyes. I can just see this happening, and it kept popping into my head all night!

To finish the job a new, more cooperative flashlight was used and is now resting peacefully on a shelf – the evil one is in the trash, so DP figures he won.

“Race” for the Cure

On Sunday morning we “ran” in the Ottawa Race for the Cure. It was a 5k, which was a change of pace since I usually run in 10ks. There weren’t any race chips in our packs, either, so that kind of tipped us off that it wasn’t really a race. I was planning on taking it easy anyway, since I’m breathing for two and I seem to be getting the short end of the air supply deal.

We started way farther back in the pack than usual and it was crazy. Plus, about 4 minutes into the run I had to tinkle so we had to take a 2-block detour to go to the Radisson Hotel for a pit stop. When we got back to the route it put us even farther back. It became impossible to run because everyone was walking, and there were families with baby strollers everywhere. At the halfway mark it started to go uphill so we decided to stop fighting the crowd and just walk anyway. I was laughing about how this was a weird race since everyone was walking – and then it hit me that this was probably always what it was like in any race this far back in the pack. It was just the first time I’d been there. Oh, well, next year I’ll be one of the ones with the jogger strollers! It was a beautiful day and a great route past Parliament, over the river, and past the museums. Plus, it was for a good cause. Everyone was wearing the signs that say, “I’m running for……” Well, I don’t know anyone with breast cancer, so I think it might be me one day. I hope not, but you never know. It was also cool to see all the runners in the pink survivor t-shirts.

At the end we saw some people that my DP works with. They said even they had to wait 5 minutes to cross the finish line there were so many people. It’s a good thing they weren’t timing it or some people would have been mad! There was a complete circle of people around the 5k route – from start to finish. We wandered around and got free apples and Powerbars – and 30 minutes later there were still people crossing the finish line.

Next we are doing the Santa Shuffle on Dec. 3rd. Another 5k and it should be even more interesting at 2 months farther along!! I’ll have to get some antlers to wear. No bells, though. I learned my lesson on that during a Jingle Bell Jog 10k that I ran one year with bells. They get annoying after the first 5 minutes or so!