Last night when you were all sleeping I was in bed developing this complex probability analysis for your safety. I have determined that the coming flu pandemic will start on DECEMBER 22nd in a remote village in China. Well, actually, that is when the first human death will take place. The way I came up with this analysis is all very technical so I won’t bore you with the mathematical details, but here is the story:
Kueng, a recent immigrant to Canada, was home visiting his family that remains in China. He was in the remote village because he wanted some of his grandmother’s zong zi. Even though it wasn’t the usual time to eat zong zi she made it for him since he no longer lived in China. If only he hadn’t wanted this treat perhaps he would not have come in contact with his cousin, who died several days later of this new super flu. It is this twist of fate that exposed Kueng to the now deadly super-mutant avian/human flu virus.
The very next day Kueng boards a plane to fly back to Vancouver, exposing everyone on the plane to the virus because he was seated near one of the airflow vents for recirculating the air. The exposure continues when he gets home, and it travels the globe quickly because Vancouver is a city in which 40% of the population is foreign born. The largest, busiest port in Canada is also in Vancouver and the city is a popular tourist destination.
In another strange twist of fate, Kueng is employed as a pizza delivery guy. His first night back he delivers pizza to Wahab, whose family from India is visiting him and leaving the next day. He delivers to Ahsan, who is going to Pakistan on business. He delivers to the Port Authority personnel who are inspecting all cargo on random ships. He delivers to a hotel room full of American GIs visiting from Fort Lewis, Washington. They have already been to Iraq and are getting ready to redeploy. Kueng spends the whole night delivering pizza and super-mutant flu virus all over the city. He does not feel well at all, but suspects it is just jet lag so he toughs it out instead of going home to sleep. He has his trip to China to pay for, after all.
Even though there is not much you can do to prevent yourself from catching this super-mutant flu in the coming pandemic (remember: there is no vaccine and no previous built up immunity) you can try. As the US Centers for Disease Control say, “Hand washing is the single most important means of preventing the spread of infection.” You can click here to learn the correct way to wash your hands!!!!
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